Talking about sex in any way can be seen as taboo. We learn this at a very young age from our parents, in school, and even from society. I mean think back to when you were a pre-teen in health class learning about sex. Most sexual education is fear based and that fear is something we carry on into our adult lives. I remember being told that if I had sex before I was married that I could become pregnent or contract an STD. Does anyone else remember the graphic slides scaring you to death? It created fear and shame around anything sexual and it wasn’t until I was older that I finally discovered the true meaning behind sexual pleasure.
Women’s sexual health is essential to our overall well-being and knowing how our bodies function can be the key to unlocking our sexual freedom. As a sexual health educator, I have found that a lot of women are not aware of the importance of knowing their bodies, and are amazed when I do my presentations about how much they didn’t know (probably because they went to the same sex ed class I had!). This is why I love my job! I love being able to help women understand their bodies and feel empowered in the bedroom. Trust me ladies, when you feel empowered, sex becomes an adventure of pleasure.
So if you want to feel more empowered, here are some amazing tips to get you started.
Foreplay is extremely important for women.
Our biggest sex organ is our brains. If we are not in the right mindset to have sex it, will not be as pleasurable. At this point, achieving an orgasm may be impossible. On average, women need about 10-20 minutes of foreplay to get aroused. So learn what turns you on, tell your partner what turns you on, and explore your desires!
The clitoris is your best friend.
Yes ladies, you read that correctly. Your clitoris is your best friend. Her only purpose in life is to bring you pleasure. With 8,000 nerve endings it is time you get to know her better. According to a study from Indiana University and partners, about 73% of folks with a clitoris of their own, either want or NEED clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm (Herbenick,2018). If you are like the 73%, try exploring the use of a toy when engaging in sex with your partner.
Use Lube ALL the time.
Lubrication is very important when it comes to any type of sexual activity. The female body produces its own natural lubrication but sometimes that isn’t enough. When our natural lubrication disappears, it can lead to a painful experience. Many women report using lubricants because they feel good and help make sexual activity more pleasurable. So, remember to use a lubricant everytime!
If you want to find out more information about sexual health or what products may be best for you, please feel free to contact me!
You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or message me on instagram @pureromancewithamanda
My name is Pilar Corta Cattor … psychologist and founder of Sexplícame, a platform that provides comprehensive sexual education and promotes erotic pleasure in a simple and fun way.
Since I had my first oncoming towards Psychology with a clinical approach, I realized that this discipline is undoubtedly the most extraordinary profession in my opinion. This is because favoring or encouraging people to reflect from the depths of their being, the root of their difficulties; it allows each one to face these from within. Along these same lines, I faithfully believe that a clinical psychologist must begin his/her path in training on the patient’s side to then fully understand the work to be done within a practice.
But more specifically, I consider that sexuality is an essential component in the integral development of the person and therefore, something that will definitely determine the development of her/him. This is why, I faithfully believe in the need to make visible the importance of sexual health as an essential part of health in general, so that I can then advise people with difficulties and help them improve their quality of sexual life and with it their quality of their live in general.
That is why I created Sexplícame, a space in which sexuality is discussed with total openness, because it is an integral part of our lives… It is also important to know that sexuality is present when we speak, when we move, when we dance, when we dress (or not hehe), even when we dream. WE ARE CONSTANTLY EXPRESSING OUR SEXUALITY.
Therefore, I want to support you, suggest, recommend and give you the tools so that each and every one of you can live your sexuality in the most free, full and pleasant way … but also more responsable (responsible).
One of the most common questions I receive is “how do I increase my desire?”. There are many ways to connect with your body and feel more sexually empowered. Your libido is influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors. Personality, stress, hormonal imbalance, medications, lifestyle, relationship issues, age, can all impact your libido.
Here are 5 ways to feel more sexually empowered and increase your desire. First, you should know that empowerment comes from within. So keep that in mind as you move forward in your journey to sexual empowerment.
Get comfortable with your body – Do you know your body inside and out? What you like? What you don’t like? Have you looked at your vulva in the mirror? Do you explore your own body? Ask yourself these questions and get really comfortable with your body.
Communicate and Speak Up – If you have a partner, make sure you are speaking up for what you like and what you don’t like. Communicate your desires and needs without blame or shame. Set healthy boundaries in and out of the bedroom. Ask for what you want.
Find the pleasure in your life – find the joys and pleasures in your life regularly. Be present and engage all of your senses daily. When you wake up in the morning, name something you can see, smell, taste, hear, and feel that gives you joy.
Release shame and guilt and increase confidence – Shame and guilt have no place in sexual empowerment. Unlearn the programming given to you by others growing up. Self-pleasure increases our self-confidence; when we know what we need and want, we increase our emotional and physical connection to ourselves.
Decrease stress – Take time for yourself. Self care is important. In order to increase your libido, you need to decrease stress. Aromatherapy, meditation, journaling, and breathing exercises are all great ways to lower your stress level. Diving deep into each one of these will really help you to release shame and guilt and increase your sexual confidence.
Natalie Hatjes, MS CHt is a Sexual Wellness Hypnotherapist and the owner of Lotus Cove Wellness, a boutique style sexual wellness center. She is also the founder of Reconnect Restore Reclaim sexuality affirmation cards. www.lovechatwithnat.comInstagram.com/lovechatwithnat
My name is Meredith, and I’m a North London-based feminist ceramics enthusiast! I started making PUSSYPOTS after Pride last year. I was invited to a Pride party, and when I asked what I could bring, the host just said, ‘something gay’. After much contemplation, I carved a vulva into a cantaloupe for presentation at the party. The vulva melon provoked so many interesting conversations about shame, diversity and sexuality that I was inspired to try vulvas in the slightly less perishable medium of ceramics.I hope one impact of this is that people feel more comfortable to get to know their bodies. Knowing what’s normal, and feeling comfortable talking about your vulva and vagina is so important to good sexual health. Probably the most salient evidence that still have work to do is the fact that most of us are still using the word ‘vagina’ to refer to the ‘vulva’ (the vulva is the visible portion of the female reproductive system, while the vagina is literally just the canal). I mean, it’s no wonder that attention has been focused on the bit where the penis goes in and the baby comes out, not the bit which is the source of female pleasure.It’s no surprise – only 1% of parents use the word ‘vulva’ with their children (YouGov). But we need to start talking about this comfortably and precisely to know ourselves, own our pleasure, and take care of ourselves!
Dr. Cara Quant is an Internal Medicine Physician, Sexpert, and Founder of Viva La Vulva. Viva La Vulva is a movement bringing together like-minded people from different backgrounds who have a passion for driving change in the way female sexual health is perceived in our society. They are using the power of art to drive this change and help redefine female sexuality that transcends above race, culture, age, and geography.
During her training, Dr. Cara noticed how men’s sexual issues are regularly discussed in the medical community, but women’s sexual health issues are often overlooked. She understands that the language of art, which includes her Viva La Vulva podcast, can be used for education and as a means of healing. She brought together a diverse team of people with a shared vision to bring the idea of Viva La Vulva into reality.
Dr. Cara Quant (Internal Medicine Physician and Founder of Viva La Vulva)
Social media: @vivalavulvaLA
Podcast: Viva La Vulva podcast
Dr. Laurie Mintz is tenured professor, a licensed psychologist, and a certified sex therapist. Her life work has been committed to helping people live more authentic, meaningful, joyful—and sexually healthy—lives through the art and science of psychology.
Dr. Mintz defines sexual health in accordance with the World Health Association: “…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.” She is also clear in her work that there is a reciprocal positive relationship between positive sexual health and overall well-being—including the notion that sexual wellness can enhance one’s feeling of overall joy and wellness.
Dr. Mintz teaches the Psychology of Human Sexuality to hundreds of undergraduate students each year at the University of Florida. She also teaches and mentors graduate students in both their clinical and research training, helping them to find their own niche as psychologists. Dr. Mintz has published approximately 55 research articles in academic journals and eight chapters in academic books. Dr. Mintz is also the author of two highly acclaimed popular press books—both written with the aim of empowering women sexually: Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It (HarperOne, 2017) and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex: Reclaim Your Desire and Reignite Your Relationship (Adams Media, 2009). Of note, several small randomized clinical trials published in peer-reviewed scientific journals indicate that individuals who read Dr. Mintz’s books enhance their sexual functioning. Dr. Mintz also writes a popular Psychology Today blog, the goal of which is to provide scientifically accurate, sex-positive information to enhance female pleasure. Dr. Mintz gives presentations nationally to both professionals and lay audiences, including a recent TEDx talk. She is often quoted in national and international media. For over 30 years, she has also maintained a private practice, working with both individuals and couples on general and sexual issues. Dr. Mintz has received numerous professional and teaching awards. She is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, indicating that her work has had a positive national influence on the field of psychology.. You can learn more about her work at www.drlauriemintz.com, or join her on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, or Instagram, @dlrauriemintz.